Chicks Rule is about us. Women.
Women who work so hard at life for ourselves, for our families, for our communities and we love it because we rock at it.
Our days can be filled with the mundane and the wonderful as we leap hurdles at work, at home, at the school gate, at social events and more. Through these interactions we connect with people and provide surface information about our lives but there isn’t any time or energy for deep reflection and sharing with our peers, namely, other women.
What comes from reflection and sharing is nourishment; nourishment and inspiration as we are ignited by other women’s achievements, challenges, or even the mundane. By listening and supporting each other we are able to scratch deeper than the surface and uncover stories that may have otherwise lain dormant in our busy world.
Perhaps there was a time before life got busy when you would spend a whole day with your friends just talking - about your views, your thoughts, your plans. You would feel spent, nurtured, your problem tended to from an afternoon of going deep into conversation with your girlfriends and inspired to carry on with support.
So, what if you had at least three hours a month with women who allowed you to sit and talk and also listen? Who tended to you and ignited you to share experiences of the past, meet challenges of the present and plan for the future.
This is Chicks Rule.
All you need is a small group of women, a bottle of wine or pot of tea and some simple questions, for example:
• What’s happening in your life at the moment?
• Where do you want to be?
• Who/What inspires you?
• What is a moment that changed your life.
Then let women do what they do best; share and nurture.
Thanks for letting us share this with you.
Bernie, Pippa, Janey, Nicole and Tanja.
The following is a guide to getting your own group off the ground.
Take the time to outline your thoughts. What is it you are looking for? What has led you to starting a women’s group? What are you hoping to offer to other women? If you’re not sure what it is you’re hoping for, say that but ask people to come anyway and help you to create it. Include a link back to this website to help explain the concept if need be.
Set the date far enough in advance so that people can book it in and start reflecting on what your invitation. Your group doesn’t have to be made up of your friends only. Perhaps you’ve met someone and think they would have an interesting story to tell, perhaps there is someone who inspires you or, you want to invite your best mate who you can’t seem to connect with anymore. Be bold in your invitations. Congratulations! Sending an invite and asking people to come along to an evening of open and honest discussion can be scary but you did it! Well done.
Outline your hopes for the group but be flexible with your ideas. You may find it becomes something different to what you thought you needed. Give everyone a chance to talk if they want to, you will find that women will instinctively do what women do best, talk, open up, listen, nurture.
At the end of the meeting ask if anyone would be keen to meet again and at what frequency. As you go on, suggest if members would like to take turns in hosting. It is a good idea to keep the meetings as a regular date ie first Wednesday of the month. This way people can plan in advance and there is not the impossible situation of trying to juggle everyone’s calendars. Also, it’s good to be clear about what happens if someone can’t make it. Do you cancel? Reschedule? Continue?.
It’s a good idea for the host to come up with a theme or a question for people to think about in the lead up to the meeting. It’s easy for us all to talk about the stuff that’s happening on the surface but when we have a question like, ‘Who inspires you and why?” It makes us dig a little deeper. See IDEAS for some themes to get you started.
You might like to create a closed Facebook Group. This is a great way to share links, articles, podcasts or books that are discussed on the night as well as helping you organise future dates.
You might not need this but sometimes it’s good to be clear about what happens if someone can’t make it. Do you cancel? Reschedule? Continue? Chicks Rule can be a really soulful AND fun experience… from mulling over the deep to crying with laughter Chicks Rule should also be a space that lightens your step.
You will (hopefully) get to the point of loving your Chicks Rule group and want other women to have what you have. But….you also don’t have the room to expand your own group. That’s okay, direct them back here with all the information and give them the power to create their own group.
The following is a short list of themes you could base a Chicks Rule evening around. Topics don’t have to be as self-reflecting as the ones suggested here - perhaps there are current events or issues in the world that you would like to get your teeth into, or you may know someone who is an expert in a field who could be a guest speaker at a meeting - but these can really get the converstaions going.
Describe a defining moment in your life.
Where do you see yourself in ten years’ time? How do you want to get there?
What do you want to be remembered for? Or delve into the powerful exercise of writing your own eulogy.
Who is someone who inspires you and why.
Describe your proudest moment and/or achievement.
What are your immediate goals and ambitions? Check out some coaching techniques, such as GROW to help motivate your answers.
What are your values? How did you come to a set of values? Have you ever had to ‘test’ your values?
If there was one thing you could change about yourself what would it be?
What do you spend a lot of time worrying about but wish you wouldn’t?
The following are some of the common questions that come up.
It’s your group to do what you like and only you will know how a group will interact but going from experience our advice would be no more than six people. It’s good for everyone to have a chance to be heard and if you too many then your night can get a little long or conversation may get lost if everyone breaks in to smaller groups.
It doesn’t have to be but this website is mainly aimed at Mums. It’s easy for Mum’s to talk and think about everyone else before they get to themselves and generally by time they do get to themselves there is no time or energy left. Chicks Rule is designed to give Mum’s a nudge to start talking about themselves again and to save the kid-talk for the school gate.
Of course! Blokes need to talk about themselves too, especially to their peers. A Blokes Rule will be different purely because men and women communicate differently but in today’s society it is so important for males to have the opportunity to talk and talk some more.
No. Chicks Rule is something that just stuck for us. While we’re quite happy for you to call your group Chicks Rule (because they do!) it’s entirely up to you how you want your group to be identified.
Chances are high that it will work. People long to be asked, ‘Tell me about yourself,’ and you will probably find after the first night, anyone who attends will be riding high on adrenaline from being involved in such an intimate interaction. In the off-chance that it’s not a success…so what? It’s nothing personal and there’s nothing wrong with inviting people around for a drink to talk about themselves and to be inspired by others, if people aren’t into it, that’s okay. You might find the opportunity arises again with the right group of people. That’s the beauty of creating this group at this age, we’re all big kids now and know we can say no to something without it being the end of the world.